Sunday, November 13, 2005

Let's Raise Money and Patent Putting on Pants

Seems Illiad shares a disdain for "patentus maximus ignoramus," as evidenced by his last two Sunday editions of User Friendly. This week, he harps on the latest Amazon Patents. Last week, it was the patent-applied-for story line.

Then again, maybe we should just jump right up onto this bandwagon and become filthy rich. We can pool our collective resources, raise some VC, and patent the process of putting on pants one leg at a time.
  • > The wording should be broad enough that it also covers the act of donning trousers, chaps, shorts, culottes, underpants (including, but not limited to: boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs, panties, thongs, and jocks), or anything else that has 2 leg holes.
  • > Before we file, we should begin investing in companies that manufacture skirts, kilts, sarongs, togas, and other one-hole or hole-less types of clothing that provide coverage of the lower body.
  • > Further, we should invest in medical supply companies (particularly those that make splints, braces, crutches, and plaster for casts) and hospitals -- for those die-hard pants-wearers who insist on attempting to jump into their pants with both legs at the same time.
  • > We can also sell licenses that allow people to use "our method" of putting on their pants, and may even be altruistic enough to grant free licenses for developing nations.
  • > Individual-use licenses will expressly forbid the donning of pants via the one-leg-at-a-time method for military purposes, and military-use licenses will come at a great cost, have a waiting period, and expire quickly.